CCTV FOOTAGE OF CREATION OF UNIVERSE 'FAKE'

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city news:
LONDON HOUSE PRICES HIT ALL TIME HIGH

Property prices in the capital are continuing to rocket, as it was revealed that an estate agent is this week offering for sale a tennis shoe, which is hanging by it's lace from a tree in West Kensington, for an astonishing £750,000.
When CHB contacted the estate agency, Jarful, Human & Eyes, of Chelsea, a spokesman confirmed not only that the property was on the market, but also that several parties had expressed an interest in it. When we asked if a tennis shoe was practical for use as a domicile, the spokesman told us: "Obviously, this is not the largest property you will find, but if you ask any potential housebuyer I'm sure they'd tell you that they would be prepared to sacrifice a great deal of floorspace to purchase an address in Kensington." We asked if it was even possible for a person to fit inside the shoe and he said: "Not as such, no. The current owner, however has invested in a new, very stout lace. A new owner could quite easily wear the shoe, and hang from the tree quite happily for many years to come. Don't forget also that planning permission has already been granted to hang a second tennis shoe from the tree, so there is tremendous potential for developing the property into what would be an extremely attractive home in the future."
CHB asked if we might be allowed to view the property, and when we were shown around later by the agency's Phanella De Twatte, she was keen to point out what a prestigious area the tennis shoe hangs in. "Your neighbours would include many well known and influential people" she said, "and the elevation of the property is such that you are afforded excellent, unrestricted views of where the late pop singer Freddie Mercury used to put his bins out."