MILDNESS OF RESPONSE TO THERESA MAY APPOINTMENT AS PM CAUSES SKY NEWS TO BRIEFLY FALL OFF THE AIR

"they plummeted past us", horrified CNN reporters told us. "we hoped to christ some goddamned cricket match or slight outbreak of something industrial or agricultural might break out. or one of the royals or something, but nope. Theresa May it is. have you seen it?"

Sky News was eventually pulled out of the massive hole by BBC News, who happened to be down the same hole, looking for Chris Evans.