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Tuesday 25 December 2007

CHB newsworldwide

BUSH FINALLY APPROVES ADDITION OF REAGAN SCULPTURE TO MOUNT RUSHMORE, VETOES CONGRESS BID TO TRIM 'POUND OR TWO' FROM NOTICEABLY CHUNKY GEORGE WASHINGTON-
IRAN, LIBYA, MOROCCO TO BE SET FIRE TO MONDAY

Sunday 16 December 2007

Care and cleaning of your cottage hospital bulletin:

Avoid the use of harsh, abrasive cleaners. Use only polite, well mannered cleaners who turn up on time, have neatly pressed overalls and who lift the ornaments and dust underneath them.
If your cottage hospital bulletin becomes encrusted with accumulated grime and matted horse-hair, or dangerously saturated by excessively acidic livestock urine, discontinue use of it immediately, and consult your nearest RadicalExploderCo franchise, who will assist you in rendering your cottage hospital bulletin neutral. Should your cottage hospital bulletin become volatile outside office hours, or if small children or elderly or infirm persons are placed in immediate danger by it's sudden or unexpected emission of hazardous frightfulness, phone FieldMedic on 98700345729447 for 24 hour incident management.
In all instances your cottage hospital bulletin should be removed from populated areas, doused with copious amounts of fresh water and if possible covered by a tarpaulin. Never allow children to return to a cottage hospital bulletin presumed to be dormant.